Anarchy's Glee
by J. Maria
Summary: The life and times of a Glee club in Charming, California.
1. Anticipation

Title: Anarchy's Glee  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Cutter owns all things Anarchy, Brennan, Falchuck & Murphy own all things Glee.  
Spoilers: Set in the first half of season one for both series.  
Summary: The life and times of a Glee club in Charming, CA.  
A/N: This is what happens when you fall asleep watching Sons of Anarchy after explaining the season finale of Glee - you dream of the oddest mash-up of all time. Some of this was actually in a dream I had - which makes my mind a _very_ scary place. The plan is to have all of the Glee members (possibly some of the faculty as well) interact in some capacity with the S.O.A. Au-ish for Glee for a few reasons

**_Anarchy's Glee_**

_Anticipation_

Charming, California had a lot of things. It had motorcycle clubs, various illegal activities, and all the shit that went with it. It had families struggling to make ends meet, long friendships and ties to see some through the rough patches. It was basically Anytown, USA meets the problems of the big cities. There was only one thing it didn't have: an actively competing Glee club.

Until now. Monday morning last, Spanish teacher Will Schuester had put up the signs for auditions on this upcoming Friday. It was all Kurt Hummel could talk about that week at Teller-Morrow Garage, where both he and his father worked. Burt Hummel was one of the top mechanics and had worked there since before Kurt was born. Normally, his sixteen year old son would have nothing to do with the testosterone-laden place, but the kid was saving up for his first car, and Gemma Morrow was feeling generous with the boy. She didn't have many soft spots on her, but the motherless boy struck a cord with her. Not that he reminded her of her boys, but maybe because he was just so different from the boys in the club.

The kid was humming and grinning like a loon for the first time about something school related since he had started at McKinley High. After ten minutes of him singing something under his breath, Gemma slapped her hands on the desk, getting his attention.

"What the hell has got you in such a good mood?" Gemma snapped.

"I promised Dad I wouldn't gush on about it - add that to the long list of things I shouldn't mention at the garage," Kurt smiled. "But I just can't contain it!"

"Contain what, Kurt?"

"Mr. Schuester is holding auditions for Glee! And my musical talents are nearly unrivaled at that plebian little hell hole called McKinley. Except for that Berry girl - nevertheless, I am absolutely confidant I will blow them away."

"Who's blowing what?" Tig's head popped in the open doorway, an almost gleeful look on his face. Kurt blushed prettily at the comment, and had Gemma not been giving the biker the look of death, she would have smiled at the boy's reaction. Tig, noticing Kurt for the first time, made a weird face. "Uh, what you say Lowell?"

"He's not a very good actor," Kurt brushed back a piece of hair from his eyes. He was used to Tig's - well, being _Tig_.

"Ignore him, he hasn't been beat hard enough," Gemma sighed, standing to close the door. "I'm sure you'll knock 'em dead, Kurt."

"Thank you, Gemma."

"Get out of here," Gemma did smile then. "Maybe Bobby'll help you prep for auditions."

"Yes, well, I'm not sure show choir is really in his wheelhouse, and I did promise Dad that I wouldn't bother any of the Sons with -"

"Kurt. You've been singing with Bobby since you were knee high, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind you asking for a few tips," Gemma shook her head at the boy. He'd never wear a cut like her boy, or tat himself up, but he was part of the family.

"Thank you again, Gemma."

"Hey, you'll be making up your hours on Saturday, kid. I'm not cutting you any slack."

Kurt only smiled at her and hurried out of the office, brushing past Clay Morrow and Jax Teller. Clay put on his best mean-old-man face and Jax pretended not to smile.

"Where's the songbird runnin' off to now? We ain't running a charity here, Gemma," Clay propped himself against the doorjamb as Jax leaned forward to kiss his mother's cheek.

"You think I don't know that?" Gemma cocked a brow at him. "Kid's got auditions for the glee club Friday. He's excited."

"Just what we need," Clay rolled his eyes, "More damn signing around here."

"Schuester's the teacher holding the auditions."

"Will?" Jax's head jerked up. "When he get back in town?"

"Couple months ago. Just divorced that little vapid bitch he married."

"That sweet butt who thought she was the queen of the world?" Clay grinned at the memory of that particular girl.

"Oh, yeah, she's _real_ high up in the world. Assistant manager at Sheets N Things," Gemma chuckled.

"So Kurt's afraid he won't get in? Kid's got pipes, and he's a helluva lot better than Bobby Elvis," Jax leaned back.

"Nah, kid'll get in, even if I have to have a word with Wee Willie Schue to make it happen."


	2. Auditions

Title: Anarchy's Glee  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Cutter owns all things Anarchy, Murphy owns all things Glee.  
Spoilers: Set in the first half of season one for both series.  
Summary: The life and times of a Glee club in Charming, CA.  
A/N: Did I mention the part where this is utter crackfic that kept me highly entertained when I had to fold the same towel five times over?  
Also, this fic contains swearing, illegal & immoral behavior and just plain wackinessmuch like the shows they represent (the first bit more on S. behalf, but still wackiness ensues.)  
And this part is mostly Glee centered.

**__**

Anarchys Glee

_Auditions_

Will Schuester had only been back in Charming for a few weeks when he'd decided to take over the Glee Club that had brought him those few precious memories he still had of high school. It had been his one escape, his one safe place from the reality of Charming. An escape from biker gangs and brutality, drugs and other dangerous lifestyle choices.

Will listened as the five students auditioned, remembering how hard he'd thought his life had been at sixteen. How singing had seen him through the hard times.

"Pathetic little mouth breathers," a condescending voice muttered from behind him.

"They're students, Sue," Will sighed, looking back at Sue Sylvester, the cheerleading coach and root of all evil at McKinley High.

"They're a blemish on an already pustule ridden complexion of the average American overfed teenager," Sue rolled her eyes.

"They're good."

"That's what they say about all of the idiots who try out in droves for _American Idol_."

"What do you want, Sue?"

"I want you to stop siphoning off my Cheerios funds, William."

"Sue, I have nothing to do with that. Figgins' decided that your budget needed to be cut to help the other programs out," Will rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, moments after Charming's prodigal Samcro son returns home like the festering boil he is," Sue narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm not and I never was associated with Samcro," Will's jaw tightened. "I came back to fill my old mentor's position. I didn't come back to Charming for anything related to the Sons."

"Doesn't really matter, Shuester. Even if you _did_ have something to do with Samcro, your pathetic little club won't even make it to sectionals."

"Those kids are amazingly talented. They could go all the way to nationals-"

"Apparently, you haven't been reading up on California's Show Choir handbook," Sue gave him a tight smile.

"Where did _you_ get that? I've been searching the library for days for that!" Will frowned.

"And you didn't find it because I checked out all four copies and burned three of them with the intention of watching the tiny gnomes that infest your hair weep at the loss of your evil little glee club."

"What?"

"You only have five participating students. A minimum of twelve participants are required," Sue flipped through the book and tore out the page, scrunching it into a tiny ball and throwing it at his face. "Therefore, you might as well just give in and leave my funding alone."

Snapping the now defaced book closed, Sue strode around him and left through the door behind him. He listened to her verbally assaulting the student body in the span of time it took for the door to close behind her, stunned at her revelation.

* * *

"Does that mean there's not going to be a glee club?" Kurt asked from the upper section of the auditorium where he sat with Mercedes Jones, his best friend in the entire school population.

"Hell to the no," Mercedes huffed. "We need to get more members. You heard Mr. Shue at practice. Everyone who tried out _got in_. We just need to get bodies in the seats. Five down, seven to go."

"We can't _make_ the people sing, Mercedes," Kurt sighed. "Our club is doomed."

_"We_ can't make the people sing," Mercedes smiled. "But _you_ know people who hold a lot of sway in this town, Kurt."

"Are you suggesting I use Samcro's affluence as a bargaining chip for recruitment?" Kurt gaped at her.

"It's a tricky play, but you're tight with them all at Teller-Morrow, aren't you?"

"Helping with the secretarial duties at the garage does not make me 'tight' with the sons," Kurt rolled his eyes.

"No, but you know what _they're_ looking for in recruitment. You could offer to help boys we want in glee to give them tips on what would make them more appealing to Samcro," Mercedes smiled brightly. "Think about it, Kurt. We'd knock Ms. Sylvester flat on her face. Someone's gotta take her down a peg, why not us?"

"Because it could very well end with you and I being thrown in a ditch in the middle of the desert?" Kurt laughed nervously.

"The Sons aren't that hardcore - are they?" Mercedes frowned.

"Who said I was talking about the Sons?"


	3. Theorize

Title: Anarchy's Glee

Author: Jmaria

Rating: FR-15

Disclaimer: Cutter owns all things Anarchy, Murphy owns all things Glee

Spoilers: Set in the first half of season one for both

Summary: The life and times of a Glee club in Charming, CA.

A/N: It gets a bit - well, squicky in this chapter. Just slightly.

_**Anarchy's Glee**_

_Theorize_

"You're talking about the _S-s-sons_, Kurt. Even the cops are on their p-p-payroll," Tina Cohen-Chang stammered out.

"Precisely. And it's not bribing them, technically," Kurt steepled his fingers. "It's more of an advisory position, really."

"I'm not seeing how this will benefit the Glee club," Artie frowned.

"We need more members or Coach Sylvester is going to wipe us out," Mercedes flattened her hands on the desk. "Mr. Shuester seems like he's really pulling for us, but he's not gonna be enough incentive for people to join up. Kurt's position with the club, it's the only card we've got left to play."

"I don't know," Tina shared a look with Artie. But Mercedes and Kurt had already thought that the two freshmen would be leery about bringing the Sons into this.

"Everyone already knows that the Sons won't take on anyone until they're at least legal to cover the club's back," Mercedes continued on as if Tina hadn't even spoken. "We're not offering anyone a solid 'in'. We're just offering good, solid advice to potential future candidates to the club."

"Speaking of the club, I promised Bobby Elvis I'd help him with a costume issue," Kurt sighed, glancing at his phone. He grabbed his bag and pushed himself off the desk he was sitting on.

"Wait, should we tell Mr. Shue or Rachel?"

"No!" Mercedes and Kurt yelled at the same time.

"Rachel - she wouldn't understand about us bringing the club into it," Kurt's hands tightened on his bag. "And Mr. Shue's got _history_ with the club."

"He does?" Mercedes' head snapped toward him.

"He went to school with Jax," Kurt's eyes skirted away. "I may or may not have obsessively facebook-stalked him when I found out he was coming back to Charming and taking over the glee club. Plus, I went through the back copies of the yearbook. Jax and Opie were a year under him."

"Oh, then he would _definitely_ not approve," Mercedes turned back to the other two. "Now, how do we do this?"

* * *

Quinn Fabray did a very, very bad thing. Actually, a lot of them and with alarming frequency. Especially when arguments at home were followed by wine cooler chasers. Her head was spinning as she ducked into the quiet, dark and empty auditorium. At least, she'd thought it was empty. She half listened to whatever the glee rejects were carrying on about, but her head jerked up when they started talking about the Sons. Her hands started shaking when Kurt revealed he had an inside track with them.

She waited until the other three had left, still completely undecided about what to do to boost recruitment other than using Kurt's knowledge of the bikers to sway members to them. He started to walk up the stairs and had just passed her when she bolted upright, grabbing his arm.

"What the - Quinn? Were you spying on us for Coach Sylvester?" Kurt blurted out, tugging his arm away.

"Uh, yeah. Totally what I was doing," Quinn cleared her throat. But she must of leaned into the scant light, because his eyes narrowed as he took the full picture of her in.

"No, you weren't. Why are you hiding out in the dark by yourself looking like death?"

"Never mind what I'm doing. What are you doing - recruiting for the biker gang that will never take you on?" She sneered back at him.

"Oh, so that wasn't you I saw sneaking out of the clubhouse a few months back? Which one kicked you out of his bed for the walk of shame?" Kurt crossed his arms over his chest as her face flushed. Damn.

"You can't tell anyone you saw me there, Hummel," Quinn's eyes widened. "_Not ever._"

"Oh, what stupid thing did you do?"

"Tig."

* * *

Out of all the Sons names to pull out, Tig had been far, far down his list. Kurt's knees nearly gave out as the word popped out of her mouth.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Clearly, I wasn't."

"He could go to jail if anyone finds out - if your parents find out, he will _definitely_ go to jail. Please tell me it doesn't get any worse," Kurt closed his eyes. He was envisioning threesomes or lines of coke being done off her stomach or Russian roulette.

"I'm pregnant."

"Lines of coke while going down on two guys playing with guns isn't looking so bad right now," Kurt did sink down onto the step next to her seat then. "Honestly, what am I supposed to do with this information, Quinn?"

"I can't get rid of the baby," Quinn's hand covered her stomach and Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Not only because I don't believe in it, but it's too late. I _can't_."

"I get the weird appeal of Tig, honest to god, more than I care to explain. But seriously, how drunk or high were the two of you that he didn't even figure out you were underage or virginal?" Kurt shook his head.

"I - I don't have to explain myself to you," Quinn's head lowered. Daddy issues. Only thing that it could possibly be. "I have a favor to ask you."

"Seriously? You're asking me for a favor?" It just kept getting better and better. "Go ahead, shoot."

"I need you to tell Tig."

"You just told me to _not_ tell anyone!"

"Except for him!"

"It's gonna cost you," Kurt's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"We're low on recruitment for glee club. I'm thinking three Cheerios might just cover this."

"Coach Sylvester will kill me."

"Tig might kill me, or at the very list bruise me when I drop this bomb. My checking, you definitely owe me big time."

"Fine!" Quinn gritted, grabbing her bag and pushing up from the seat.

"And," Kurt held his hands up. "You don't let her sabotage us through said Cheerios."

"It's a deal," Quinn jerked her hand out. So that was what it was like to make a deal with the devil.

* * *

Bobby Elvis was running the sewing machine when Kurt finally showed up. Brows shot up over the older man's glasses as he glanced at the clock.

"Mr. Punctuality, running late. I'm gonna have to mark it on the calendar."

"Sorry, I got distracted. Oddly enough, by a cheerleader."

"Blonde?"

"Unfortunately. Is, um, Tig around anywhere?"

"Tig and cheerleaders in the same breath. I'm not thinking that's a good thing."

"Theoretically, the problem with the cheerleader would be Tig's."

"Son of a bitch," Bobby snapped the sewing machine off and pushed away from it. "All right, songbird, spill it."

* * *

Tig's head dropped into his hands. He could not fucking believe that sweet butt had been a baby. Clay, Bobby and Kurt were all crowded around him, two glaring and the kid looking mighty uncomfortable.

"Statutory rape, Tig. Are you fucking kidding me?" Clay shook his head.

"Of an upstanding citizen of Charming's kid. They'll throw the book, the gavel, the goddamn jury box at you. You know Russell Fabray is itching to ram the Sons. You know that and you pick the cherry off the stem of his baby girl?" Bobby looked just as disgusted with him as he felt. Which was saying a whole hell of a lot.

"You think he's just gonna let this slide? Three months, soon she'll start showing. You think she's not gonna squeal to Daddy about what the big, bad biker did to her?"

"She might actually not."

The three Sons heads snapped around to Kurt, who'd pretty much stayed quiet after he'd dropped the bomb. He fidgeted with his damn man-purse and licked his lips.

"Mr. Fabray and Quinn - well, let's just say there are _definite_ daddy issues there, and Quinn begged me not to tell anyone but you, Tig. But, seeing as you get all squirrelly and weird around me, I knew I had to tell someone else. I figured Bobby Elvis would just go from there, but.."

"Where're you going with this, kid?" Clay barked.

"Quinn overheard me and my friends in the glee club talking about our low recruitment. I might have blackmailed her and two of her cheerleader friends into joining our club in payment for me telling Tig."

"Good thinking," Bobby gave him a small smile, but honestly, Tig and Clay were both lost on where he was going.

"See, we need twelve members and now we're up to eight. We still need more boys, and Quinn overheard us talking about me usingmyknowledgeoftheclubtogetboystojoin."

"You were gonna promise them spots in the club?" Clay's jaw dropped at the audacity.

"No! God, no! I was just going to give them _advice_ on what the club was looking for in new recruits. No guarantees on _anything_ because God knows I can't back that up."

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Bobby cocked his head at the boy.

"There are three guys that I know really look up to the Sons. I could feel them out, bring up the idea of maybe doing the club a favor. But I don't want to overstep my bounds," Kurt finished out with a rush.

"They under 16?" Clay asked.

"Two are. I think one just turned 17."

"What's he talkin' about?" Tig frowned at Clay and Bobby, who were obviously getting whatever the hell the kid was going on about.

"Kids being kids is a hell of a lot different than an old man fucking a teenager when he should damn well know better. And if that lucky boy just lands a job at the shop along with a mentorship with dear old Tig here, well, isn't that something?"

"You think you can get a kid to say the baby is his?" Tig looked full-on at the kid for the first time.

"If it's okay that I blatantly use my connections to Samcro to beef up recruitment for the glee club? I will do my damnedest to do so," Kurt said without blinking once.

"Damn. You are one sneaky little son of bitch," Bobby slapped a hand to the kid's back.

"I learned from the best."


End file.
